Undercurrent

Time seems to be the theme of many of my writings lately. Living in Shanghai presents the average expat with a variety of new hurdles to jump. Coming from a convenience driven culture, into one that thinks the idea of a drive-through restaurant is absurd at best; many of us have learned that the good old days of quick convenience and multi-tasking-feats-of-genius are gone. Here, are the days of whittling away at a once laughable to-do list, and feeling (though shamefully) a sense of accomplishment because we managed to pay a bill, buy a loaf of bread, and make dinner all in one day!

This is my life. I find myself feeling stuck in a bubble of things that are relatively easy and manageable, wondering why I feel such a sense of pressure and loss of time. Poor time management skills is the answer my brain has been trained to resort to. So time management is my focus. I wake up earlier, get to the gym faster, move my class time to fit more in ahead of it, go through the ritual of crossing things off a task list, and strategically plan my trips to the grocery store with maximum impact planning and shopping. In spite of my greatest efforts at productivity, I am still grappling with an immense sense of "to-do overload".

After speaking with a friend today, I had a realization. As we were discussing the unique experience of an expat living abroad in any country for any length of time; she said "there is always an undercurrent of tension while living here, we just grow numb to it". The day to day insanities of living in Shanghai bother us less, not because we are completely accustomed to them; but because we have to learn to live with them in order to thrive. It occurred to me a short while after our conversation just how much this coping mechanism plays into my life and current challenges.

When I see a baby in her mom's arms on the front of a bicycle being driven by another during rush hour traffic, I don't think it's OK- it just is. When I see an 8 year old girl begging in the street, I know that she was likely abducted from her rural village and brought into the city to make money; so I don't give her any. If I did, it would only go to her captors. I tell myself that's just the way it is. When I hear stories of expat men leaving their families after years of marriage, to then move in with their Chinese girlfriend 20 years their junior, I am bothered...but that's just the way some people are. When I see brothels on virtually every street around my complex, I try to recognize these girls as victims. In my home country, I could do something to shut a brothel down, but here I cannot... and that's just the way it is.

Some days I just stay in my home so I can breathe and have space from what I call the insanity of this bustling city. Most expats do.

There are so many brilliant and wonderful things about this city and country, and I try to focus on those. But the fact is, it can be easy to lose sight of all of the wonderful in the midst of all of the tragic; and so we grow numb, fatigued and even irritable at times. For now, I will continue to do my best to live and thrive within the tension of my own Western expectations and the realities of the foreign land in which I live.

After all, I have bills to pay, a language to study, and dinner to make.

It's been a while since I've had time to sit in my pajamas, sip wine, listen to music, and work on photos. There is something incredibly indulgent and care-free about this, and I have to say it is one of my favorite things to do.

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That was a few days ago, and I am already into a new week here. The photos of our trip to Fujian province are done, and you can see them if you go to the photo link to the right.

Hope you enjoy!

-Phil and Jen

Peeking Through the Fog

It's Saturday morning here in Shanghai. As the sun attempts to break through the morning fog, I am given a wonderful metaphor for the past week. My house is a mess, dishes are piled in the sink, children's books are strewn on the floor, and the looming To-Do list doesn't look much different from the beginning of the week. The sun is however, beginning to peek through the mess.

After a solid half day of writing, I finished 2 articles and sent them to my editor on time. I also managed, by no small miracle, to get our flights to the UK booked and paid for (I could write an entire blog on what it's like to try to book and pay for airline tickets while living in China, but you might not believe me). So there are 2 major tasks I can check off the To-Do list.

I've started tutoring some children in English 5 days/ week, and I am continuing to study Mandarin with my own tutor daily. Earlier this week, I arrived at the realization that I can't do all of this, run a house, maintain blogs, write for the magazine, exercise, serve in the various groups I serve in, and be a good wife- without some help. Due to the nature of Phil's 13-15 hour days here, we really try not to have anything for him to do on the household front. So...Phil and I have decided we need to hire someone full-time to help me with cooking, cleaning, and grocery errands.

Now, if I could just find the time to do this...

I will try to blog more specifically in the next few days. Without my knowledge, much of the week has slipped away. Phil and I returned home late Monday night from a wonderful 3 day trip through Fujian Province, and I haven't stopped since. While on vacation, we traveled to see the famous Earth Houses of the Hakka people (considered by UNESCO as one of the 8 wonders of the world); hiked; and stayed overnight on a rather European influenced island named Gulangyu.

I am currently trying to work on photos and will be back to blog more specifically in the next week. For now, laundry, bills, house cleaning, Chinese class, English students, and a few articles require my attention.

We hope that wherever you are in the world- you are enjoying Spring (Autumn for our Aussie friends)!

Phil and Jen

Synapse to Synapse

My brain has gone on strike. I have studied Chinese for the last 4 hours and it will not take in any more information. The characters have taken on a life of their own. Somewhere along the synapse road to my brain there has been a massive pile- up, and the characters that once formed words and sentences have taken on the form of a mangled wreck. I had to take a break from Chinese, so I thought this might be a good time to catch up on some blogging. I can't guarantee that this will be entirely coherent either, but I suppose sharing my incoherent ramblings is also part of the experience of living here in China.

Phil and I are getting ready to go on a short vacation here in China. We will take the long weekend and go to Fujian province where we will see traditional Hakka style houses, drive through the scenic mountains, and visit an island. In all honesty, I don't have a clear picture of what we will be doing, because we decided to join friends on their itinerary at the last minute. I have done just enough research though, to gather that this is an incredibly beautiful, historically rich part of China- and I can't wait!

That's all I have for now. I should post photos of our Fujian trip sometime next week.

-Phil and Jen

Make a Smilebox slideshow

It's been a while since I've blogged. In usual fashion, life is busy and I'm finding it difficult to balance and prioritize. School is crazy for me right now. I've been in class for almost 4 weeks and have already learned over 250 characters. My head is spinning and I find it difficult to process coherent thought after sitting and writing characters for hours. If only I had 10 extra hours in the day!

Last weekend we celebrated my birthday with some friends. Phil surprised me with a small intimate event at the house with a few good friends. We had a caterer come to the house and prepare canapes and small bites. Everyone brought a bottle of wine and a favorite cheese to start things off and we spent the rest of the night eating, enjoying each other, and taking in the view of the bund from our 55th floor apartment. It really was a wonderful night. I have posted some photos on our Picasa web album to the right.

For now, we are trying to maintain balance and clarity in our insanely busy lives. We are working hard to carve out time for our marriage and our friendships. Hopefully, we will eventually be able figure out how to fit further explorations into the mix. At the moment- I am just trying to find contentment in the craziness.