Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Inevitable

The inevitable. I struggle ever so slightly against it, but realize the time has come to give my blog a major overhaul. It is time to change and update everything about it- its photos, its purpose, and its mission.  In working toward these changes, I find myself struggling with the identity of this space in the blogosphere; and through that, have come to realize it's my own identity I am struggling with.

For the last four plus years I have been Jen Kinney- wife and adventurer; living out a life long dream in the city of Shanghai. I have been an explorer, a student of language and cuisine, a writer, and a traveler. I have had the opportunity to wear many different hats and enjoyed each and every one of them.

As if life wasn't exciting enough- I added the hat of motherhood to my wardrobe. While living in Shanghai we welcomed our twin sons into our family and it has been one of the greatest adventures and challenges yet. However wonderful motherhood can be, I find myself in the midst of this repatriation fumbling my way through stay- at- home mommydom and asking some major questions about what it all means.

Hence the identity crisis of sorts...

All of this to say I am not sure when or how these blog changes will take place, but I am certainly working through the details and trying to figure it out. Perhaps this is my way of hanging on, but the time will come when letting go and changing course feels natural. Until then, c'est la vie!

Friday, July 8, 2011

Here It Goes

For the life of me I cannot figure out how or why a video window appeared on my previous post. I therefore, have no greater idea how to remove it. Sorry to those of you hoping to see some adorable little video of the boys- but there is nothing to it. I'm hoping that as quickly and mysteriously as it appeared- it will disappear.

Now on to more or less interesting topics of discussion. I finally have some form of technology that allows me to write again. For those of you ipad, laptop, desktop, multiple techno peeps out there- I can assure you there is nothing glamorous, mysterious or wonderful about the technology free life. So take all those thoughts you have of simplifying your life and running off to some remote space in Ireland to write on paper... with a pen; and toss them out the window. By all means, go to said remote space in Ireland, but just make sure they offer wireless.

Being back in the US has been challenging on many levels, but none more than my lack of time to put thought into written form. I have so many things to sift through and process before I can even begin to share them. We have been caught up in a whirlwind since returning and I am ready to settle down and process through some of these things already.

There are times when I am reminded that I have not fully slotted back into this life here in the US. Times like last night when my husband brought my new vehicle home (a minivan) and I cried...in a beer. No really. I sat down, drank a beer and cried. All because we bought a minivan. I'm thinking that's not normal, so I decided I needed to take some time, let the towels and laundry pile up a little; and just sit down to write while the boys napped. I figure it's time to invest a little in my mental well being for the sake of my sanity as well as my family's.

So here's to processing on repatriating...

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Little More

It’s been a while since I have had a chance to sit down and write. I am grateful for my husband who is at home with the children this morning, the hand-me-down laptop that I am writing on, and the coffee that accompanies my brain on this rather dusty road toward a new blog post.

To say that it’s been a long journey to this point is an understatement. We’ve been back in the US for almost 2 months; and in that time we have found and purchased a home, made full plans to remodel it, purchased one vehicle and continue to search for another one. We have celebrated milestones with our children and continue to marvel at how much they blossom and change from one day to the next.

I struggle to find words outside of common clich├ęs but there are moments when it feels like we have been here for days and other moments when it feels like we never left the US.

It’s strange to think that such a significant part of our lives can grow to feel like a distant memory in such a short period of time. We spent close to four and a half years living in China. We built lives, made life long friends, traveled its vast land, learned the language, engaged in the culture, and gave birth to our children there. Though temporary, Shanghai was our home; and I am struggling to feel like it is little more than a dream at this time.