The Sleep Fairy

What a difference a little sleep makes! This is one of those obvious statements people throw around without much thought; and until you have lived with so little sleep over such a long period of time, you don’t realize just how true it is. In fact, you begin to forget what it feels like to be human at all.

I was blessed last night by the sleep fairy; though I am referring to my husband so perhaps I should say something like the sleep manly- man or the sleep king. Whatever I call him; he took two dream feeds and the boys had their biggest stretch of sleep in months… a whopping 4 hours! All things combined and I had collected more sleep by 1 am than I normally do in an entire night.

Armed with my super human powers, I awoke with the boys at 5:45 this morning and felt as though I could conquer the day; so conquer I did. I let Phil sleep in while I got them ready and took them for an early morning walk through the city.

Big deal you think; but huge milestone for all of us. Let me give you a wee bit of background so you can appreciate the milestone along with me.

For the last 6 months, life has been a blur at best. Between recovering from a high risk pregnancy, a premature delivery, 5 days in the hospital trying to hold off labor, an eventual c section, caring for premature twins, going from bottle feeding to breast only feeding, and then reflux to top it off- I have felt like a shell of my former self; no, not even a shell. A shell implies the remnants of shape and form, and I am not even sure I have felt that. A trip out with the help of another is a daunting task in itself; so a trip out on my own, though seemingly unremarkable is quite remarkable indeed.

As I strolled through some of my favorite alleyways enjoying the beautiful day, I felt particularly empowered and entirely capable. It was in that moment that I realized capable is not a word I would use to describe myself in this whole parenting process. After too many months of very little sleep combined with the challenges of living in a foreign country with no family nearby, raising twins, and dealing with reflux- I’d forgotten what it was like to even feel capable.

I must say it feels pretty good...