Sunday, November 25, 2012

Blessings, Dissatisfaction and the Birth of Change

"If there is dissatisfaction with the status quo, good. If there is ferment, so much the better. If there is restlessness, I am pleased. Then let there be ideas, and hard thought, and hard work. If man feels small, let man make himself bigger." Hubert H. Humphrey

Since our repatriation, the second round of big American holidays has begun. If I am honest- I have to admit that we are still desperately trying to settle into our home. It's different at this point because we are finally approaching the end. The finish line is within reach and it makes it all the more difficult to put our reckless pursuit of completion into check.

As I write- the front door of our house sits in the basement drying from its second coat of paint. Progress surrounds us. My once bright yellow kitchen with holes for a back splash is now a lovely shade of gray with tile for a back splash. The basement bathroom is the last of the major renovations to be completed and I am thrilled to say the tile man arrives tomorrow morning to begin the final phase of tile. Just a few more things to go and we will be done!

Phil and I have been relegated to domestic updates for the last year and a half and we are ready for some change. As projects come to a close, I find myself with a little extra time and mental space in my days. I've had time to think about what I want, who I am, and where I would like to go. I've been caught in a fog of repatriation, early parenting, and home renovations for a long time now; and I have allowed the dissatisfaction that I have felt in all of these areas to cloud my thinking and hold me down for far too long.

I haven't arrived, but I am finding ways to get comfortable in a life I haven't found comfort in for a long time. As I celebrated Thanksgiving and took time to reflect on the many blessings in my own life- I realized that I have a lot to be thankful for- including this phase of restlessness and dissatisfaction.

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