Okay, so that stuff I wrote about resting a few weeks ago was well, just stuff I wrote. It's true- I'm not good at resting. But I guess I'm not very good at taking my own advice either. All the intended rest I wrote about focusing on went out the window last week. As Thanksgiving approached and I realized this would be my last big cooking hurrah for a couple of years, I was inspired to go overboard on preparations for the holiday.

But really, this time I am done. I got it out of my system. As I greet this week with a sense of cooking "hangover", I realize that I have to slow down. My body and these babies won't have it any other way. This "multiples" pregnancy is really starting to feel like one.

Oh To Be Carrying 2....

I'm neither a good sick person, nor a good patient. Sitting and resting is not something I prefer over daily projects, things-to-do lists, cooking, going out, and the list goes on. I am beginning to realize that I am going to have to change my outlook and lifestyle in a big way. As my belly grows at an alarming rate, I am realizing that my ability to "do" is going to be greatly altered; in fact, it already has been.

I am quite hopeful that bed rest is not in my future, but I am also realizing that my activity and the amount of time I spend resting will greatly influence this. Currently, I am forcing myself to sit on the couch and watch TV...

If my VPN keeps working, I may even get to blog a bit more.

While I love my friend the VPN- it is not a perfect tool. Frustration with connectivity problems, combined with insane life change has kept me from blogging for close to 4 months. I am up and running here and I make no lofty promises. Picasa web albums doesn't work well with the VPN, so I haven't been able to access my albums. I don't even remember what pictures I posted last.

We were really hopeful that the mainland's Internet blocking would ease up after the big October holiday, but there are no signs that this will happen. So for now, I will make the best out of what I have.

The last several months have been a blur of activity. We moved to the other side of Shanghai, went back to the US, and had family in town for the last two weeks. Oh, then there's the fact that I have made it through the first trimester of my pregnancy. I am currently 16 weeks pregnant with twins! Pretty crazy changes ahead. I have had a relatively easy pregnancy thus far. Aside from the impending mass of belly that I expect to have, all is going well.

Transition seems to be the theme in life for me and Phil. I'm hoping to take the next couple of weeks to enjoy the fall weather, get caught up, and carve out a little sense of grounding.

Catch Up

Wow! Have I mentioned how good it is to be back up and running? While the mainland's controls are getting tighter, I can breathe a sigh of relief for our new found friend the VPN. It's the most worthwhile $60 we've spent in a long time.

I feel a bit like I'm getting back on a bike after not riding one for a long time. (For those of you who despise cheesy parallels- know that good sense has not prevailed and I may take this to a nauseating level.) My writing feels a bit rusty and my thoughts are swerving from one side to the other. I am confident, however, that writing will feel like an old friend again soon.

Phil and I have done so much since I last posted an update with any substance. I could go back and try to recover thoughts or memories of these moments, but I don't think I will do them justice. I've never been very good at writing things simply to write them.

Shortly after we returned home from our trip to the UK (1 week to be precise), Phil's sister Elizabeth and her husband Steve came to stay with us in Shanghai for 1 month. I managed to get over jet lag, put some clean sheets on their bed, and put 2 of our 5 picasa web albums up from our trip before they arrived; but that's about it. I can't believe a month has already gone by, but it has, and they returned home to the States earlier this week.

So now I am playing catch up. I almost have the last of the photos from our trip to Ireland, England, and Scotland on Picasa. I will try to get the next batch from our travels and time with Steve and Elizabeth uploaded by next week. Until then, I will refrain from those stories until there are proper pictures to accompany them.

We're back from our Yellow Mountain adventure and I have a new appreciation for the human body. 20 miles and 5 days later, the remnants of our trip still ache in my calves. I fear we may have scarred Steve and Elizabeth on our latest trip, but I am certain it will remain a bonding moment for all of us.

We are in the last week of Steve and Elizabeth's 1 month stay here in Shanghai. The time has flown by so quickly and we still have much to do and see.

On Monday, we collected our tailor made clothing from the fabric market along with a few other trinkets. Yesterday, we spent some time at the Propaganda Poster Art Museum followed by a stop at one of our favorite local tea shops. Today, we will head to the local market/bazaar for some last minute shopping. Tomorrow we will visit an art community to peer into the lives and works of local artists in Shanghai; and the list goes on.

We are sad to see them go next week, but in the meantime- we will enjoy the time we have together.

We're Back!

It's so good to be back online. The Great Wall has been blocking access to all blogs since our return home from the UK. The usual back and forth that would happen with site blocking seems quite permanent at this point. When I realized that google and Gmail were being blocked last night- it was the last straw. I bit the bullet, paid for the anonymity, and the rest is history. I'm back and I am looking forward to posting again.

The last few months have been very busy. Phil and I spent 15 days in the UK and Ireland visiting friends, traveling the countryside, and relaxing. One week after our return home, Phil's sister and husband came to stay with us for a month. We are 2 1/2 weeks into their China adventure and preparing to go to Yellow Mountain today for a long weekend.

Once we get back, I will post more.

Undercurrent

Time seems to be the theme of many of my writings lately. Living in Shanghai presents the average expat with a variety of new hurdles to jump. Coming from a convenience driven culture, into one that thinks the idea of a drive-through restaurant is absurd at best; many of us have learned that the good old days of quick convenience and multi-tasking-feats-of-genius are gone. Here, are the days of whittling away at a once laughable to-do list, and feeling (though shamefully) a sense of accomplishment because we managed to pay a bill, buy a loaf of bread, and make dinner all in one day!

This is my life. I find myself feeling stuck in a bubble of things that are relatively easy and manageable, wondering why I feel such a sense of pressure and loss of time. Poor time management skills is the answer my brain has been trained to resort to. So time management is my focus. I wake up earlier, get to the gym faster, move my class time to fit more in ahead of it, go through the ritual of crossing things off a task list, and strategically plan my trips to the grocery store with maximum impact planning and shopping. In spite of my greatest efforts at productivity, I am still grappling with an immense sense of "to-do overload".

After speaking with a friend today, I had a realization. As we were discussing the unique experience of an expat living abroad in any country for any length of time; she said "there is always an undercurrent of tension while living here, we just grow numb to it". The day to day insanities of living in Shanghai bother us less, not because we are completely accustomed to them; but because we have to learn to live with them in order to thrive. It occurred to me a short while after our conversation just how much this coping mechanism plays into my life and current challenges.

When I see a baby in her mom's arms on the front of a bicycle being driven by another during rush hour traffic, I don't think it's OK- it just is. When I see an 8 year old girl begging in the street, I know that she was likely abducted from her rural village and brought into the city to make money; so I don't give her any. If I did, it would only go to her captors. I tell myself that's just the way it is. When I hear stories of expat men leaving their families after years of marriage, to then move in with their Chinese girlfriend 20 years their junior, I am bothered...but that's just the way some people are. When I see brothels on virtually every street around my complex, I try to recognize these girls as victims. In my home country, I could do something to shut a brothel down, but here I cannot... and that's just the way it is.

Some days I just stay in my home so I can breathe and have space from what I call the insanity of this bustling city. Most expats do.

There are so many brilliant and wonderful things about this city and country, and I try to focus on those. But the fact is, it can be easy to lose sight of all of the wonderful in the midst of all of the tragic; and so we grow numb, fatigued and even irritable at times. For now, I will continue to do my best to live and thrive within the tension of my own Western expectations and the realities of the foreign land in which I live.

After all, I have bills to pay, a language to study, and dinner to make.